The Need to Belong: Building Connection Through Small Actions

Written by: ASE Editorial Team

Teenagers today often grapple with a deep-seated need to belong. It’s not just about fitting in with peers but feeling valued, understood, and part of something bigger.  But guess what?

The Need to Belong: Building Connection Through Small Actions

When the need to find a sense of belonging goes unmet, it can lead to feelings of isolation and self-doubt. But as parents, you hold the key to creating an environment where your child feels they truly belong.

🔷 Here are four things to help you get started.

#1 Start with Shared Time

 Carve out moments in your day for undistracted time together. Whether it’s a walk after dinner, a shared hobby, or even folding laundry side by side, these small actions send a big message: “You matter to me.”

#2 Listen Without Fixing

When your child shares their struggles, resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Instead, focus on listening. Phrases like “That sounds tough” or “Tell me more about that” show you’re present and supportive. Validation can go a long way in helping them feel understood.

#3 Celebrate Individuality

Every child wants to feel seen for who they are. Acknowledge their strengths, encourage their interests, and let them know it’s okay to be different. When they feel valued at home, they’re more likely to carry that confidence into the world.

#4 Small Gestures, Big Impact

A handwritten note, a favorite snack waiting for them after school, or simply asking about their day—these little things can strengthen their sense of belonging. It’s often the smallest gestures that make the biggest difference.

Expert Tip: 🌱 The sense of belonging starts at home with little actions. The school can't do everything. The school and home each have roles to play so children can enjoy school, learn, and succeed.

Knowing what to do and how to help your child find a sense of belonging.

Relatable

Every evening, Maria's parents (not real name) asked her about her day. But they noticed that they wanted to know 'the juicy stuff': like the student who didn’t do their homework or who was sent to the principal’s office. They changed! -and focused their attention on getting to know their own child and seeing things through her eyes.

They learned to listen —really listen to what Maria was saying, even when she talked about small things like who she sat with during class activity, her feelings about a peer, and her teachers plus herself. 

They acknowledged and praised her efforts and not just her grades. This also created a safe relationship where Maria asked her parents not to ‘sugar coat’ things but to be outright with her. Because she felt seen and valued at home, guess what? 

Maria said that she walked into school each day with a deep seated confidence, ready to be a part of the class and not ashamed to make mistakes. The relationship at home also helped her to better connect with other students and teachers. 

🌱 💫 When young people feel they belong, their confidence soars, and they’re better equipped to face life’s challenges. It doesn’t take grand actions to make them feel secure—just consistent, intentional moments of connection.

WHAT CAN I DO TO SUPPORT MY CHILD FIND A SENSE OF BELONGING?

🔹JOIN A MEETING - Click HERE! Fresh and real-life topics. #JoinASEL a knowledgeable and supportive community for educators and parents of school aged children; connect & learn from esteemed experts.

🔹 Join a class THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX: How To Handle Academic Struggles -It will explore and learn simple, practical and actionable ways to handle academic struggles and it's a sustainable approach.

🔹 Reach out and book a consultation. “Given one hour to save the world, I would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and 5 minutes finding the solution.” - Albert Einstein

When you can clearly define the problem, finding the solution becomes the lesser hassle. One of the best ways to defining a problem is 'dialogue' or 'talking things out!' Get in touch.

🔹 If you haven't already, 📝 📝  join our email list so you continue to get my down-to-earth, thoughtful and insightful newsletter. Also be the first to know about free resources and get learning support tips straight into your mailbox. 📝

🔹Be patient with yourself and your learner. Celebrate milestones no matter how small.

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Remember: Blog content and information on the website are for informational purposes and therefore should not be considered as medical advice. Please reach out to your doctor or school counsellor if you have questions about your child.